


The Weight of All the Stars in the Galaxy

by juliesioux



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Established Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak, F/M, Felicity Smoak - Freeform, Honesty, Love, Missing Scene, Oliver Queen - Freeform, POV Felicity Smoak, Sex, Soulmates, True Love, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-04-22 17:25:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14313585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juliesioux/pseuds/juliesioux
Summary: This is a missing scene one shot fic. It is what happens after Oliver goes and talks to William and has to be honest with the person who knows him best, Felicity.It is an emotional moment told through Felicity's eyes. I wanted to explore how she would respond to his Vertigo induced decent. It was revealing of how they think and why they think the way they do.And it gets sexy.





	The Weight of All the Stars in the Galaxy

 

**The Weight of All the Stars in the Galaxy**

**A Missing Scene Fic**

 

Felicity was unconsciously spinning her wedding band on her finger. Round and round it went as she watched the rain fall in sheets outside their bedroom window. She was wrapped in a blanket on the chaise she had insisted they buy. It was the perfect piece of furniture for those long nights when she waited for him to come home from City Hall. At the moment, Oliver was in talking to William, making amends for his behaviour earlier that evening while Vertigo was blazing a path of rage and self doubt through his body.

His blood had been on fire. Pushing his fears and worst nightmares to the surface of his mind, creating a monster with each beat of his heart. She had seen the conflicting emotions of rage and fear surging and merging in his eyes and knew he had been so close to being lost that any mistake on her part, a pause or unconvincing look, would have pushed him into the abyss that still cut through the centre of his soul.

Looking down at her hands, Felicity felt the weight of her own fear taking on physical form in her palms. Her fingers felt like they were made of lead but she continued to twirled her wedding ring around and around her finger. She needed to feel it, to make sure it was still there, it was her anchor to this world, to Oliver.

Taking a deep breath, she got up from her spot by the window and changed into her pajamas. It was cold in the bedroom, a dampness was seeping in through the floor, the windows, through all the cracks that Vertigo had introduced into their reality and Felicity felt the fear that was still surrounding her husband. It was alive and swirling with energy.

Oliver had developed an incredible ability to take all that was happening around him and pull it into his heart and mind. Even now, when he had proven to her and everyone around them that he was a truly good man, he would listen to that dark voice, the one that was born out of the torture and pain he faced on Lian Yu, in Hong Kong and Russia. He would hear its whispers as loud as shouts and believe every word it said about him.

Crawling under the covers, Felicity waited for him to return. She turned to face the window and watched the rain. Normally she liked the rain at night. They would cuddle up and talk quietly deep into the night until they fell asleep, exhausted from the night and all the stress of trying to track down Diaz without a team to rely on beyond their unwavering faith in each other.

She didn’t miss Rene, Dinah or Curtis, she missed only John but was resigned to him no longer being part of the mission. It broke her heart but she was somewhat confident that they could mend the damage. It would take time but, maybe more than ever before, but they had weathered worse. They were family, now and forever.

Thinking over the events of the night, one moment finally caught up to her. When Oliver looked at her and the betrayal and hurt that thundered out of him when he thought that she had left him. Of all the things he must have seen and thought were real during his Vertigo madness, thinking she had left him was what pushed him towards his certain death.

Tears finally spilled down her cheeks. She had almost lost him because of his sense of worthlessness from thinking he had lost her. After all they had been through, all the near misses, heart ache and work, his greatest fear was still her walking out on him because she saw him as the man who she had hoped he had left on Lian Yu. Felicity cried until sleep washed over her.

It was the bed moving under Oliver’s weight that woke her up with a small start.

“Hey,” he whispered, his voice ragged around the edges, “I didn’t mean to wake up.”  
“It’s ok,” she murmured as she turned towards him, seeking his body and the warmth it would offer her, “I meant to stay awake and wait for you. How’s William doing?”  
“He’s ok. I think he understands that it wasn’t the real me who snapped at him...at you...today,” he was running his fingers gently through her hair as he spoke. It was something he did to relax himself when his mind was in turmoil.

They laid there in a gentle silence with only the continuous sound of the rain as it hit the window. It was soothing and relaxing to her ears. It was still too early for thunderstorms but Felicity was wishing for the low rumble to cover the way she was sniffling. The last thing she wanted was for Oliver to think she was upset when all it was the release of the tension and fear created by Diaz.

“Felicity,” his voice cut through her thoughts, pulling her back to the bed they shared, “what is it? Talk to me...please…”  
“It’s ok, love,” she said softly, reaching across his broad chest in search of his other hand, “it’s a release of energy.”

Oliver pushed himself up onto his elbow and gazed down on her, watching to see if she would look away or burrow under the covers to avoid his eyes like she had done in the past to hide from his eyes. Instead, she reached up to trace the line of his jaw with her fingertips. She loved his face and the way his hair and skin felt. She would never get tired of who he was or the way he made her feel when he looked at her the way he was in that moment.

“Let me go get you some water and a tissue or five,” he said with a soft smile and was up off the bed before she could answer.

She felt tears threatening to fall again as she watched him pad silently out of the bedroom and head to the kitchen. There was a pressure in her chest, and she heard herself begin to pant and tried to rein it in before he got back into the bedroom. He couldn’t see her like this, not tonight. But the tears continued and she felt a wail building in her heart and soul. She felt the closeness of death in the room, that cool breeze that caused the small hairs on the back of her neck stand up when Oliver was disconnected from his life, his heart and world.

“I found the last bottle of water in the fridge. I think we need to make a serious grocery list,” he muttered as he climbed back into bed with her, “At least we have lots of kleenex. Here....Felicity?”

He had finally stopped, looked at her and saw what she could only think was madness written across her face. Faster than any human should be able to move, he was beside her and pulling her up to a seated position.

“You have to breathe, Felicity,” his voice sounded strange to her ears, strangled and higher pitched then she ever heard it, “Please, honey, you have to take a deep breath.”

She looked at him, trying to focus on his voice but couldn’t. She was dizzy and lightheaded. Her vision was growing dark around the edges and the sound of static was growing in her ears when Oliver did something he had never done before: he pinched the delicate skin on the inside of her arm by her arm.

Her eyes flew open in shocked surprise and when she went to speak, she realized why he was panicking and why he pinched her. She was paralyzed in terror at the creeping realization that Oliver still believed she would leave him and his life would no longer be worth living. He had come so far but had yet to make the final step and she had no idea how to help him.

“Felicity…”  
“I’m breathing, Oliver,” she hiccupped around a deep breath, “I’m breathing.”  
“What is it?” he implored.

Looking into his eyes, she felt the words that were hovering just under the surface of her skin recede. She wanted to speak them but her mouth and mind refused to cooperate. Instead, she reached for him, needing to feel the strength of his arms around her. She wanted to feel his breath on her neck, his voice murmuring softly in her ear. More than ever, she needed to feel just how alive he was to counter the greyness of death as it hovered above them.

“I am so sorry,” he whispered, “I know tonight was hard.”  
“Oliver, when I found you in the police station,” she said in a quiet, hesitant voice, “I wasn’t sure I could reach you. I was hoping the Vertigo was working its way out of your system but I wasn’t sure…”  
“You reached me. You saved me, Felicity,” he sighed, pride, love and admiration flowing out of him and over her, “Without you…”  
“We are quite a pair,” she chuckled quietly, nestling against him.

Oliver used his strength to half lift, half pull her across his lap. They sat in the middle of the bed, wrapped around each other in comfortable ease, letting go of the tension of the night as best they could. Felicity felt the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the steady, strong beat of his heart under her ear and the tender way he stroked her back. The warmth of his body was lulling her into a somnolent state where sleep was just a few breaths away.

“I need to tell you something,” he said softly, drawing her back to wakefulness, “about who I saw and what was said to me when the drug was in control.”  
“Ok,” she said, “Can we lay down though? My back is cold.”  
“Of course,” he said, “My feet are cold for some reason.”  
“Well, the floor is polished concrete and it is cold out,” she gently teased.

Oliver shook his head and helped her get comfortable. She smiled and kissed his cheek before curling back into his side. He once again absentmindedly ran his fingers through her hair, finding comfort in the silken strands that fell in loose waves across her shoulders. She shivered as they trailed across her skin. He mistook it for her being cold and pulled the duvet up over her.

“So…?” she encouraged.  
“So...when the Vertigo was at its very worst, I had a visit,” he said sardonically, “from Adrian Chase.”

At the mention of his name, Felicity froze. She still had nightmares of running through Lian Yu as the earth tore apart and screamed. He had reshaped the island in a psychopathic rage, tearing it apart with more bombs than she could have ever hoped to disarm, and she still woke up gasping as she called for Oliver to find her. In those moments, as she clawed at empty air, her hair plastered to her head in a cold sweat, she would open her eyes and see the wild panic and fear surging through Oliver as he struggled to find his voice in the face of the terror she was revisiting in their bed.

“He tried to strip me of everything. Of my identity, of you…,” he trailed off, lost to the chemical memory.  
“Oliver, Vertigo is designed to prey on the darkest parts of who you are, your worst fears, your darkest nightmares. It is no mistake that he became the vehicle your mind used to bring those fears to the surface,” she said softly, “The drug is successful if you give in and you fought back.”  
“No, I gave in, Felicity. I was ready to die tonight because I thought you had left me. That I had finally done the unimaginable and harmed you worse than when you found out about William.”

Felicity was silent. He had more to say and she wanted to give him room to say the words he needed to say.

“I am so sorry,” he said, “I am so sorry for everything I said and the worry I caused.”  
“Oliver,” she said slowly, pushing herself up so she could see him and saw how haunted his eyes were, “when you saw me and felt the truth of me with your heart, all I saw was you, the man I love. I will always worry about you but I felt you reaching back to me. Nothing will ever tear me away from you. Nothing and no one.”  
“You save me everyday, you know that? I look at you,” he said, reaching up to stroke her face, “and I see how good my life has become, how good it will always be so long as we are here. Together.”

Felicity leaned into his hand and smiled down at him, “You will do well to remember that, Mr. Queen.”  
“He tried to take you from me. He used all those insecurities and fears and I was almost convinced…,” his voice trailed off and his eyes grew sad as he gazed up at her.

Felicity felt the sadness and soul crushing loneliness that he felt in that moment. He was so dangerously close to being untethered from their shared journey that she acted in the only way she knew how to bring him back to her.

Carefully, she leaned down and kissed him. It was tender at first, hesitant and soft, but then grew deeper in intimacy and desire. She loved the way Oliver kissed her, the way his tongue would sweep across her lips before seeking out the warmth of her mouth. He opened his mouth under hers, pulling her tongue into his mouth, sucking and tasting her. The heat and friction between them sparked and crackled and she felt his hands move into her hair, gripping it. She always felt so small when he was like this, so ready to act on the primal need coursing through him.

Breaking contact so she could catch her breath, she said, “You will never lose me, Oliver. I love you.”

Oliver’s eyes shone, “I was in such a dark place, I was so sure I was going to die and I was willing to do it because I thought you were gone, but then you showed up and shone so bright and so tall...somedays, you are all I can see.”

Smiling, Felicity closed the distance between them and captured his lips again. This time she had no intention of easing up. She felt his hands travel up and down her back. Normally she would swing a leg over top of him, taking control of the intimacy between them but she waited for him to move first.

“Felicity,” he murmured against her lips, “if we weren’t already married…”  
“I would say yes again,” she smiled.  
I love you more and more each day,” he whispered, a tear slowly trickling down his face.  
“I’m glad I’m not alone in that,” she whispered back, kissing his cheek, tasting the saltiness of his tears and surrendered to him completely.

His hands, so rough from a decade of violent use, moved carefully under her shirt. She felt the raspy tips of his fingers trace the curve of her spine, his hand could span her entire back but he was always so tender with her. She felt revered and protected when he slipped into this mode. He would look at her like the entire world revolved around her every word and breath.

“Why you wear pajamas is beyond me,” he murmured into her neck, his lips trailing from her jawline to her collar bone. She was having difficulty focusing on his words as his breath blew across her hot skin.  
“We have an almost teenager living with us,” she said as she lifted her arms so he could take off her shirt.  
“I have told him to knock,” his voice was low and gentle. She shivered when she felt his lips and tongue wrap around one nipple and the way he crossed to the other one. Every nerve ending in her body was vibrating, waiting for his next move.  
“We should buy a house one day...a big one…,” she murmured. Oliver was exploring her body with an erotic tenderness that was slowly letting her slip into a hypnotic state.

He didn’t answer her, he used the size and strength of his body to turn them so that she was on her back. Felicity opened her eyes and locked onto his. The room was dark but she could see the way he was looking at her and it took her breath away.

“How is it you can make me feel the same way I did that first day we met all over again with just a simple look?” she asked while pulling at his shirt, trying to get it up and off his body.  
“Felicity, welcome to my world,” he chuckled as he took his shirt off.  
“I am so glad we found each other.”  
“Losing you is my greatest fear. Just you,” he murmured as he settled his body overtop of her, careful to not put all of his weight on her body.  
“You never will,” was all she could get out before his lips were on hers, pushing her lips apart, his tongue seeking hers.

Felicity wrapped her legs up high around his waist. She loved the thickness of his body and how it felt and moved between her legs. The way the muscles in his back would ripple and the gentle flex of his thighs created a heat in her body that was unrivaled. Closing her eyes, she let her consciousness drift. Oliver was gently tugging her pajama bottoms down over her hips but all she could think about was the way he looked bathed under the soft lights at their wedding reception.

The way he looked at her that night still caused butterflies in her stomach. He was mesmerizing that night and for all the ways he had told her how lucky he was to have found her, all she could think that night was how honoured she was to be loved by him.

A cold draught brought her back to the present and she opened her eyes to see Oliver had moved to kneeling so he could pull her bottoms off. He was watching her, his eyes never wavering from hers. Felicity felt a flush of heat push up from the bottom of her toes to her face. He had a look on his face, it was a combination of adoration, lust, reverence, love and a soft sensuality that made her instinctively reach for him.

“Hurry,” was all she whispered.

Oliver needed no more encouragement. He quickly pulled his own sweatpants off and returned to his position above her. She kept her eyes locked to his, feeling the way his breathing changed as their bodies pressed against each other. Where her skin was soft, his held a texture, a roughness that created friction and energy with hers.

He smoothed the hair off of her face, tracing her face with his calloused palm. With his hand paused over her heart, he softly said, “I love you, Felicity.”  
“Forever and always?”  
“Until the end of time,” he smiled.

She felt the way his body was responding to her touch, to the heat her body was generating and the way she was looking at him. With a soft sigh, Felicity placed her hand over top the violent, fiery wound left by a madman and said with as much love as her voice could hold, “Despite all the pain and suffering you have endured, under this scar is a heart I would know anywhere in this world or the next.”

There was a soft fluttering of his eyelashes against her cheek as he lowered his head pressed his forehead to hers and then she felt him move his hips. It was a gentle movement but she felt the tension as her body stretched to accommodate his erect cock. Opening her eyes, she found his and held his gaze. They held each other until instinct took over and Oliver rolled his hips gently at first until her eyes fluttered close.

She could feel the way his breathing was changing, deepening with each movement of their bodies. Oliver was trying to move slowly, but all she had to do was kiss him and a low moan escaped him and rumbled over her like thunder and he began to thrust into her with more force. Felicity gripped his body with her thighs, squeezing around him everytime he was buried inside her, increasing the tension around his cock.

When he moved to change their position, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him back onto her body. She could feel the length of his body on hers, the weight and power of him, but knew he would be tender when he needed to be but with encouragement from her, he would take control of her body and bring her only ecstasy.

His breath was hot and fast against her neck and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her off the bed by just a few inches and she saw stars behind her closed eyes. His hips rammed into hers and his cock stroked the sensitive spot inside her that caused her to tighten around him. She felt his hands in her hair, his lips on her neck and she felt that familiar heat and electric tension building low in her pelvis.

Suddenly, she was desperate to see his face, to look into his eyes and really see him. As the heat in her pelvis grew hotter, more insistent, she placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled his head up so she could look into his eyes in the rain drenched light that was filtering into their bedroom. They were dilated yet still luminous, a soft glowing blue that made her heart ache for the love of him. She could see them slowly unfocus as he lost himself to the rhythm their bodies had created.

There was a gentle pressure in her chest that was growing larger, unrelenting, threatening to burst out of her but she wasn’t sure if it was going to be a sob or moan. Her vision blurred slightly and her breathing hitched in her chest. He was here, with her, safe in their home but the way he courted death with such single minded purpose was pulling her heart apart.

She closed her eyes, tears slowly falling down her face, finding their way into her hair, when way he was making love to her pushed her sideways, letting her mind grow quiet and allowing her body to feel the mounting pleasure of every movement, breath and sigh. She pulled her knees up and felt the shooting surge of heat as she climaxed in rolling waves that built and built until her mind went blank.

Oliver’s cock throbbed and jerked deep inside her. She loved the way that felt. It was erotic, intimate and she was possessive of the way she could make him feel. She felt like her body was claiming his orgasm as her own and she welcomed it. She gripped his shoulders and moved harder against him until a primal groan flowed out of him, hugging the contours of the bed, her body, their room and he came in a series of powerful thrusts.

They laid locked in an embrace that joined more than just their bodies. She felt the universe breathe in unison with them and finally, she felt the vastness of his love for her as it settled on her bones with the weight of all the stars in the galaxy but she felt lighter and more alive than ever before.

Slowly, Oliver moved off of her and laid down in a heap. He cupped her face, pulling her gaze to his and smiled. She could feel sleep fast approaching but needed to speak the words that were burning a hole in her heart.

Pushing herself into his arms, she laid a kiss over his heart and got comfortable as they slowly bobbed and ebbed in the slow current of energy that surrounded them. She wanted to tell him how hard it was to see him so willing to walk into what was guaranteed to be his death. More than anything, Felicity wanted Oliver to finally understand just how much she loved him once and for all.

“Oliver, I hope one day you know, really, really know that I will never leave you,” she said softly.  
“I do know, I just need to find a way to fully believe it.”  
“What is holding you back?” she asked.  
“That dark voice that whispers to me, sometimes it is all I hear until you start talking to me. You save me without even trying some days,” he said drowsily.  
“You say that a lot and I believe you but you save me. Body and soul,” she yawned.  
“I love you, Felicity,” he sighed, stroking her back.  
“One day, we are going to talk about you thinking going alone is a smart choice. Because it is not,” she said with some force.  
“Another day. I just want to feel this.”  
“Ok but I want you to know one thing. Ok?”  
“Ok,” he chuckled.

She took a moment to collect her thoughts and then said, “There is nothing you can do now that will pry my heart free from yours. Nothing.”

Oliver remained silent. She hazarded a glance up at him and saw that he was staring at her. His eyes glimmered in the dark bedroom. They appeared vast, unending, full of love and hope. He would always forgive her, no matter what, but the way he looked at her, the softness in his face and they way he relaxed under her touch was his way of showing her that everything was going to be ok.

Letting a smile slip across her face, she let herself go and went in search of sleep with Oliver slowly playing with the strands of her hair.


End file.
